Ever since I was a wee morsel, I have had a reasonably severe obsession with cats. When I was in school I had a cat which I brought into school to show in assembly. I talked about her so much, the entire senior school knew her name and began asking how she was on a regular basis. Ever since ‘The Incident’ involving trains, demonic train drivers and sliced cats, occurred, its safe to say I have been scarred for life. This is my only explanation for my still, ever-growing, unhealthy feline fixation.
Even now, my Snap-Chatting has been dubbed ‘Snap-catting’. It would be an understatement if I were to say I was disappointed when my friends banned me from sending anymore cat related snaps. Lets just say, I haven’t used that application for some time now.
Saying this, it has come to my attention that I’m not the only crazy cat lady in her youth.
Being a firm believer that the world should be populated by only animals, or animals alongside a select few humans, I am thoroughly enjoying being able to share my cat preoccupation with so many others! But what is it that has got people going bat shit cray for these furry little fellows?
Let’s start with famous cats. Yep you heard. Feline celebrities. If you are no stranger to the internet, I am sure you will have heard of Grumpy Cat at some point. My favourite, pissed off looking cat has become famous for her downward facing mouth and strangely human-like grumpy face. She has her own blog, Facebook page, twitter page, tumblr page, website, copy written christmas cards and youtube page. She visits the folks at TMZ, Good Morning America, Today and Youtube (just to name a few) all the time and has many media contacts. If only I were so well connected with my fellow humans as this furry little moggy is. And all because she has a face which slightly resembles a human emotion. Maybe we love her because we are so obsessed with our own human race that we have fallen in love with the human qualities of this pud… Or maybe thats just my misanthropy taking over again.
What about the cats, famous for having fur with imprinted top hats, moustaches, love hearts, cat-ception prints (a cat printed on a cat; amazing I know)? Now, I could never explain why, but this is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night. That sounds slightly demented… But this is the kind of shit that I stay up at night looking at. Yeah ok there is no sane way of putting that.
And then there’s websites solely for pictures of cats, or dwarf cats, or disabled cats, and cat youtube videos, and channels, and cat documentaries on the BBC, or blogs about cats. Its official, cats rule the internet. Just look at youtube and you will understand.
Turns out everyone loves a bit of pussy action every now and then.
Now on to Cats In The News! After a little research, I feel like “Cats on the News” could actually be a full length legitimate TV show… And people would watch it. My favourite one was; “Woman shoots Husband to save cat." I can see her and I getting along very well. Self explanatory really but worth a read.
Looks like pure human entertainment is at the top of the list as to why we’re all so obsessed. Closely followed by character, cuteness and companionship. Basically cats are a cure for our boredom and loneliness. I bet they hate us.
What I will never grasp, is how we can all be so in love with these creatures, but be munching on their brothers, sisters and cousins for breakfast, lunch and dinner. More on that another time…
Just in case you were wondering, that picture of a cat tattooed onto an arm. Yep. That’s my arm.
First confirmed gig date of many London gig dates to come before I fly off!
Come and watch me on Friday October 4th at the Comedy Pubs acoustic night in Soho London! Flyers to come for discount on the door!
Would love to see some of your faces there!!
Yes, yes, I know. Where have you been? Why you no write? Your blog is baron. We are now unfollowing you. Because I know you people need my blog posts in order to live out your day to day lives. Quieten down.
I realise it’s been a while, but, I have been busy creating my new website, facebook page, and twitter for my music and for a new section of the Sofar Sounds Music movement which I will be leading when I move to Dubai! Yup I’m moving to Dubai in November. Yay..!
So as well as all of this, I’m working on gigging the crap out of London before I effoff. Therefore, I would much apreesh if you could all check out my new website for gig updates, music updates and share the shit out of my new Sofar Sounds Dubai page and personal music page!
So less chatter more sharezies.
Goanna the Joanna xxx
What if Mark Zucherburg and Jack Dorsey had been idiots?…. Would we actually have to talk to each other?
Does writing a witty tweet or choosing the perfect instagram filter improve our lives in the same way a bag of drugs helps a hobo?
Slowly, and to be honest without much resistance on my part, social outlets have been bottle necked to those served via the wonderful, world wide web. Is it healthy to be so engaged by such an impersonal way of communicating and expressing ourselves? Or is it just an easier way of shamelessly self promoting, sharing and speaking freely to everyone and anyone who will listen, and are also fixed to their holy web windows. I’m afraid we are all slowly becoming that Chinese couple you see in a restaurant. You know, the ones who take pictures of themselves next to their plates instead of building up the strength to actually talk to each other. No one needs to see this offensive sight; let alone live it.
Social media fast: Day one.
One would argue that communicating with your flat mates via twitter when 6 of you live in a big open warehouse with barely any doors, screams (or maybe just CAPSLOCKS) social retardation. Well, one would be right. I can’t say I have suggested what my flatmate should cook in the toaster for dinner over twitter when he was less than 5 metres away… Yep. That has definitely never happened. The way we are heading, Gen Y are going to produce a bunch of mutes who are incapable of giving any kind of immediate response. Instead they will need at least 6 minutes to conjure up amusing responses deserving enough for a twitter conversation.
But without these social media outlets how would we make our old school friends jealous of our crazy, amazing lives that we are so involved in that we have the time to stop what we are doing every 5 minutes, so we can make the right decision on which picture to post on Facebook. Come on people. Pipe down the crazy. Surely someone who uploads pictures of every #organically sprouted, perfectly ph balanced, vegan, gourmet meal they have ever had and has to update the world on their new overpriced jeans they are wearing that day, has a better sex life with their computer or smartphone than any living, moving human being. “Oh look at that, in these jeans you can see all that weight I lost over summer. How embarrassing.”
Moving swiftly on. Creative industries. Yes it’s what us youngness are all about these days. Who needs to know about nuclear weapons and world hunger when we’ve got the power to Dreamweave our way to quirky websites telling us about something creative, represented by logos which somehow integrate an ironic moustache or a vintage bicycle. Help or hinder I hear you ask? Good question. It’s fair to say that a lot of magazines, brands, artists, and musicians rely on social media sites to pimp themselves out to make a bit of extra moolah. And if your dignity tank is empty enough to post a video of you dancing like a mutant on youtube or you can convince enough people with as little self respect as yourself to dance around with you, then I guess you could say it’s easy to make money out of advertising if you use social media in the ‘right’ way. But, I’m fairly certain most musicians, especially those exceeding the ripe old age of 40, would argue through their mahogany smoking pipes, that the internet and social media have completely and irrevocably crippled musicians traditional way of making money. I’m pretty sure HMV have proven that no one buys CDs anymore. Facebook, Twitter, Soundcloud and youtube have made it far too easy to share music for free. I can’t quite decide whether this is good so that any ‘musician’ can get their music out there, or if they are just giving out their hard work for free with nothing in return.
What about that basement dwelling, headset wearing, brand of ‘humans’ who live ONLY through the internet. Who needs friends when you can socialise with a computer or an Xbox right? What would happen if we snuck into their dingy, pot noodle smelling basements and took away their lifelines? Would they end up dying a horrible death after masturbating 42 times in a row in the first desperate 20 minutes? I like to think that technology withdrawal would encourage them and anyone else socially disabled by their computers and smartphones, to venture into the world and see what’s out there. Maybe we could meet new people without having to stalk them on Facebook beforehand. We could all make our own world news by actually seeing what’s going on in the world instead of reading tweets and searching for hashtags written by our fellow social retards. Then again, for this all to be possible we would all need jobs to pay for these crazy adventures, which, lets be honest, 90% of the English population are lacking at this moment in time.
After much deliberation and sleepless nights spent on Facebook and Twitter, I have concluded that this generation just don’t have big enough balls. Let’s strap on a pair and spend more time in the pub accompanied by spoken words and beer instead of in our beds with our hands… for typing. Then we’ll see which cocky bastards decide it’s OK to celebrate the death of an old lady with alzheimer’s who was in government when they were 2, without a computer screen to hide behind.
Words by Joanna Broomfield.
Image source: http://dailykimchi.com/buzz/signs-that-you-are-extremely-addicted-to-computer/
Hi guys! A couple of new songs up on soundcloud. Works in progress. Take a look! Www.soundcloud.com/joannabroomfield
The warm vibes at last night’s Sofar Sounds in Hackney Wick were the ultimate remedy for warming the cockles of one’s heart on possibly the coldest night this winter. Escaping the snowy streets of the winter wonderland outside, we were greeted by dangling bicycles, stacks of surfboards, a forest of pot plants and, of course, an abundance of instruments all at the ready, surrounded by eager strangers excited to hear the new sounds ahead. Thanks to Sandra and Barney for inviting us all into their lofty warehouse, we all got comfortable, cross-legged on the floor, in true Songs From A Room style.
First up, we all settled into the smooth sounds of Sivu. The beautiful strings, soft drum beat and lyrical ins and outs, flowed into an outstanding other-worldly sparkle defined by James Page’s heart-piercing voice. This six-piece band’s seamless unity coaxed us all into uncontrollable foot tapping and swaying, led along by the soaring violin lines and dotted, stop-start guitar notes. Sivu was a treat, a magical way to kick-start the evening.
Next was soft-spoken Sophie Jamieson. From the get-go, Sophie’s timid and fragile energy shaped an endearing demeanour, which somehow made me immediately attached to her music from the moment she delicately sounded the first set of lyrics and plucked the first set of strings. Her eyes would not stay put; she was looking everywhere and her words muted and shook between songs. However, her tantalizing voice was not disturbed by her nervousness. The audience embraced and welcomed her perfectly imperfect innocence. Sophie’s haunting vocal sound flooded onto the guitar strings creating the ultimate intimate performance leaving the audience hanging on her every lyric.
After a short break of frantic seat-saving and booze-fetching, we were gifted with the strength and soul of James Bay. I must admit, I was immediately pulled in by James’ shoulder-length hair and fedora hat, but I soon found out it was his performance that demanded just as much attention from the audience. James was full of energy and emotion, which ran straight through me, and I felt every word he sang. His songs danced the line between soft and strong. I was very much reminded of Ray Lamontagne; he created wisdom about him and his lyrics seemed far beyond his years. He closed his eyes throughout and held his guitar tightly as though fearing he’d be robbed blind, but he needn’t have worried; no-one wanted to stop him playing.
Last, but not least, Bronze Medallists. These guys really sealed the deal for a perfect night delving into the sounds of four talented new acts, all of which are now well and truly on my radar and, more importantly, my iPod. Smack-bang in the middle and front of the audience, I had a prime view of the visual delights Bronze Medallists had displayed on a precariously placed television at the front of the room. The composition of Bronze Medallists songs was perfect. They had the waves of feeling, volume, vocals and bass in perfect sequence. Just like their music, the band themselves exuded confidence and worked perfectly as a unit.
As the bass notes and electronic beats ran under my skin and the band nodded their heads in unison, we feasted our eyes on peculiar pictures of toddlers smoking cigarettes and colourful faces and lips moving to the song. One of Bronze Medallists final songs was one they had not performed before. For this, they asked for audience participation; they claimed it was to aid the drumbeat and “cover up their mistakes”, but I have a sneaky suspicion it was to engrain this song into our heads for the rest of the week. Whether this was the intention or not, it worked.
As the end came to this vibrant January evening, all participants and performers were reluctant to disperse back onto the cold streets, leaving the warm clutches of this musical hub behind. I’m sure all left with their thirst for new tunes quenched and armed with inspiring new music to last until the next Sofar Sounds.
Words: Joanna Broomfield (from Sydney/London)
Pictures: Sandra Ciampone (from London)